Dear Sweet Lord.. I am…Passionate and Assertive; Sensitive, Strong & Courageous;Bold & Shy; Honest, Open & Willing;Certain & Uncertain.Motivated & Energetic.Forever Young & as Old as Methuselah;Low Energy & Sad;Insecure & Confident. I am…. Simply me. Like me or Leave me.Label me & Judge me. I do know I am happy;and the rest is BULLSHIT.
I can see him in the distance. I towards him. Him towards me. My heart begins to beat faster. My step gets a little lighter…. I cannot hold in the massive SMILE that infects my face. I walk faster. My face hurts. I can see him smiling … I can see him speeding in pace.… Read More
I stand. I stand before you uneasy and afraid. I stand trembling. My throat is dry ; my hands sweat. My voice soon to quiver. I stand. I stand before you with no positive self-image. No love for me. I judge what is ‘wrong’ and not what is ‘right’. It blankets me. I stand. I… Read More
I am the problem I have adjudged. I provoke the turmoil and pain. Tears. Uneasiness. Low self esteem. No self-worth. I recognize childhood when my Dad was the problem. I was absolute in deliberating that I would never be the same. Learned behaviour. I am the problem. I accept this today.
I sit in my car clutching the car steering wheel in my driveway and cry convulsively. I want to drive and not come back. Mentally I shame and discredit myself when I examine the things I have said. The guilt is paralyzing. I want to ESCAPE. How disturbing to resign from life and household responsibilities… Read More