On this day, we celebrate mothers. We send flowers, take Mom out to eat, and make breakfast in bed. We post our pictures and words of how much our Mom means to us for everyone to see on Facebook and social media.
This year we celebrate differently. Covid-19 keeps us from our precious Mom, and if we are privileged enough to have our mother still alive and well, this isolation may help us to reflect. This restriction of no contact may resonate with our need to be near our mother and what that means.
My Mom has always been there for my brothers and me. She made sure we have beautiful birthdays, Easter, Christmases, family meals, and picnics. She took us to Victoria Park often without a car; she made picnics, which we ate in various places in Truro. Under the Bible Hill bridge, walks to Dairy Queen, and Kiwanis Park was a favourite spot. My Mom always took the time and made an effort.
She built snowmen, snow horses, and snow forts. She played skipping rope, hopscotch, and dinky cars. My Mom, provided us with beautiful meals, baked cookies, cakes, and regular loaves. She made our birthday cakes and made sure we had a fantastic day. My Mom did this despite financial worries, relationship problems and later divorce, and when she was sick, tired, and at times felt like she could not carry on – she did and was our Mom.
As an adult, you understand more. You know how hard it is to get out of your mind’s way for your kids and to ensure your kids’ happiness. To make memories and create special moments despite what is happening in your life.
Mom and I talked about how, as a Mom, the guilt can be overwhelming as we feel we should or could have done more. The sin of having little patience, of yelling or snapping at our kids. The guilt of taking things out on the kids that had nothing to do with them. The added stress of failing relationships, mental health illness, household finances, no vehicle, and the fear of where the money is coming from for milk, lunches, and toys for Christmas.
As Oprah states, “When we know better, we do better.”
Mom, my memories of you are all of love and care. Of providing everything you could and of doing what you knew was best at the time. I do not dwell on anything that was not ideal- because as an adult with children of my own, I understand entirely. I want you to know that I could never compare myself to you as a mom because you are flawless in my eyes. If I were you, my kids would have had the best childhood. You are the Mom I wish I were.
You are the rock and family foundation. You are the Sunday supper memories, the birthday party gatherings, the Thanksgiving Meals, and the baby shower celebrations- despite the fact I tried to get you not to organize it.
You are the Mom who arrives at my door with needed medications. You are the Mom who made sure my kids had what they needed when I couldn’t provide it. You made their birthday cakes, played in the snow with them, and provided them with beautiful meals. You gave gifts to place under the tree from Santa, you brought things for my kid’s lunches, and you brought food so we would not be hungry. You gave me a safe place to stay on more than one occasion when I thought my world was falling apart.You cared for my children and me when I couldn’t. When my mental health was weak, and I could not get out of my way, you stepped in. You are my kids’ second Mom.
You deserve a Crown and a Queen’s throne.
I wish for you to focus on you and do what you love at this time in your life. I wish for your relaxation, good health, and an abundance of days. I wish that you always read a great book, have sun in your face, and enjoy the sweet smell of babies. I want for you no more tears of worry or loss, and I wish you the best day.
I love you more than words can say – and that is the truth. This blog of words can never completely express my appreciation, love, and graduate.
I want to give back to you. I want to provide a safe space for you when you need it. When you feel you cannot care for yourself, I want to care for you and be at your door. To hug you when you cry, and to do whatever I can to make your life easier. You deserve the same world you provided for me—a world of safety, love, and comfort.
I am the lucky one, and I thank you because not only do I have a Queen of a Mom – I have a best friend.