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Our Community Cries

I yelled at my son regarding his school work. I screamed and took my frustration and fear out on him. Not acceptable. I thought a mass shooting would never happen in my community. Never on my streets.

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I cannot share how I am feeling. I have been exploring feelings of disbelief, fear, anger, and numbness for days. I have read many statements, comments, and words of kindness shared on Facebook, social media, the news, and announcements from the Prime Minister.

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I live in the Colchester area of Nova Scotia, and I ache. Our community aches. Our community is shattered. The victim numbers continue to rise as the investigation continues at the 16 separate crime scenes. This mass shooting has and continues to cripple me. I do not know any of the victims personally, but I feel so heartbroken and numb.

I am scared. COVID-19 has me afraid, and this mass shooting in our little province of Nova Scotia has me terrified. I do not want to go out walking or driving anywhere.

During the shooting rampage, the message was to stay inside and wait. I was so nervous for everyone as this unfolded. My chest pain still lingers, and my head continues to ache.
I am so nervous for my daughter, who loves to walk and run. I want to tell her to stay inside for a while in case of a copycat incident. But I also don’t want her to have more anxiety placed on her because of my fears. I have done that to her most of her life.

I feel like I cannot even blog as this tragedy, along with COVID-19 has made it increasingly difficult to concentrate. I can read this in my writing. The choppy, dull, and lack of flow and interest is terrible. My motivation is zero.

I do not pray, but I do wish all the victims and their families find peace and comfort at this most indescribable and heart-wrenching time.

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