I am struggling with faith. Not faith in a higher being. I am and continue to struggle with faith in me.
According to Dictionary.com, faith is the confidence or trust in a person or thing. The faith in another’s ability. Not only do I struggle with number #1 , I also struggle with #4 on the list. The belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc. To be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.
I have changed 360 degrees. My entire life until the last XXX amount of years I was guided by my faith in God and ‘what was the right thing’. What should you do as a Christian?
What the hell..this is my blog and life is short!
What a waste of time that thinking was. Stinking – thinking. I was literally brainwashed and continued to ‘God-Wash’ myself for years! I was miserable trying to live up to the standards of Christianity. I placed those standards also on my oldest child by speaking about the Bible, fearing her into ‘behaving’, and expecting perfectionism as I did from myself.
It is crazy to think that the world we exist in, or the small town I reside in, will have many readers appalled by this admittance of my truth. This personal revelation is not to offend, annoy, or open a discussion to ‘save’ me.
I think of it as a ‘food for thought’ moment. Why does it appear that on social media, publicly, in poems, memes, etc., it is perfectly acceptable to share comments, phrases, or ‘hints’ that a belief in a god should be publicly shared? I feel it is perfectly fine to share what one has faith in.
The issue I struggle with is that one’s opposite belief of the norm is usually questioned or judged. Well, in my small town anyway.
I mean if I created a post or meme that stated: “When you die; there is nothingness”. Some would be horrified by that statement. Many years ago I would have felt this overwhelming urge to pray or talk to the person – to save them. So I do understand.
BuzzFeed posted an article, written by David Bertozzi, titled- 16 Reflections From People Facing Death.
Los Angeles photographer Andrew George recently embarked on a project, titled Right Before I Die, to answer a complicated question on perspective. He explains, "I often question, as I recall personal events that once seemed important but that have faded from my memory, my ability to have perspective. Sometimes, I take this to the extreme, and wonder what I will value in my final moments." George met with a number of people experiencing their end of days to gain insight to this profound thought. Here is what they had to say...
When you’re in pain, very, very bad pain, and you can’t stand it, sometimes you say ‘I wish, I wish I could die’ but then all of a sudden, something enters my brain…why should I wish that? If He wanted me to go, He would have taken me long ago.Sally
What a true example that love, kindness, and a moral ethically code is not determined by religion but by the goodness in all of us.