Today I am unfeeling. I do not hate this unemotional state. In a freaky way it is a vacation from my usual hamster wheel of an existence. I am existing in a dark limbo state, a pause, an escape. The numb before the cloud. I feel comfortable and uncomfortable. A familiar place of uncertainty.
My body moves slow, is uselessly reflective, emotionless, and demotivated. However, I am typing and starting this blog to expose my ‘freaky deaky mind’ but not my identity. An anonymous reveal. Why? Because my passion is mental health awareness. The struggle is real.
It is my hope that struggling peers may find strength and hope in my shared posts. That relatability and information shared will help aid in stomping out mental health stigma and increase awareness. That together we can support each other in recovery. One post, one share, one comment at a time.
My ‘freaky deaky’ mind can be dark and cloudy. Sad, numb, demotivated, and radiate emotional pain. This same mind can be energized, positive, courageous, and responsible.
This ‘freaky’ mind can be loved and hated internally. Painfully unforgiving and educationally understanding.
I have a bloody, fucking, beautiful, honest, raw mess of a time. This mess is part of me; yet does not define me.
This is my story. My past, my present, and my unpredictable future. These shares are painfully and honestly my personal truths- warts and all.